The Problem of Pain

"My own happiness is something like this. I am progressing along the path of life in my ordinary contentedly fallen and godless condition absorbed in a merry meeting with my friends for the morrow or a bit of work that tickles my vanity today, a holiday or a new book, when suddenly a stab of abdominal pain that threatens serious disease, or a headline in the newspapers that threatens us all with destruction, sends this whole pack of cards tumbling down. At first I am overwhelmed, and all my little happinesses look like broken toys. Then, slowly and reluctantly, bit by bit, I try to bring myself into the frame of mind that I should be in at all times. I remind myself that all these toys were never intended to posses my heart, that my true good is in another world and my only real treasure is Christ. And perhaps, by God's grace, I succeed, and for a day or two become a creature consciously dependent on God and drawing its strength from the right sources. But the moment the treat is withdrawn, my whole nature leaps back to the toys: I am even anxious, God forgive me, to banish from my mind the only thing that supported me under the threat because it is now associated with the misery of those few days. Thus the terrible necessity of tribulation is only too clear. God has had me for but forty-eight hours and then only by dint of taking everything else away from me. Let Him but sheathe that sword for moment and I behave like a puppy when the heated bath is over-I shake myself as dry as I can and race off to reacquire my comfortable dirtiness, if not in the nearest manure heap, at least in the nearest flower bed. And that is why tribulations cannot cease until God either sees us remade or sees that our remaking is now hopeless."

C.S. Lewis
The Problem of Pain

My name is Kuh-Risssseee

I've just moved to a new ward. Any of you who are familiar with BYU know that it is somewhat custom to change wards at least once in a 12-month period. This is my third ward this year and seventh here at BYU.

I want to first say that I really enjoy people and making friends. However, to get to the point where I can be myself with someone and feel like there is some substance to the relationship requires time. I really struggle with introductory conversations, which usually go something like this...potential new friend (pnf):"Hi, what's your name?" me: "Hi, I'm Krissy" pnf: "Kristy?" (The latest misunderstanding of my name is "Kissy") me: "No, Krissy...no "t" pnf: "Ah. What's your major?" me: "Dietetics" pnf: "Diuh...what?" me: "diatetics...it's like nutrition" "Oh, cool. Where are you from?".....and then it goes on. I think I've had this conversation at least 2o times today and heard everyone else around me having it too.

I suppose I see some necessity in getting to know the basic information about people, but it is such a tedious process for me sometimes. I long to be able to get to the point in a relationship with someone so that I can share all of my insides and they can do the same with me. I LOVE that. I hate holding it all in. I don't feel real when I do that.

In conclusion, I'm wondering how to make these intro-converstations more meaningful. Do I just need to change my attitude? Do I need to ask better questions? Any ideas (to the two of you that read my blog)?